So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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