how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My vagina is very pro this idea
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.