Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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  (443): remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing http://tfl.nu/zq5c
  Replies (3) Good night (1943) Bad night (758)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...

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  (713): well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer... http://tfl.nu/85fe
  Replies (22) Good night (3676) Bad night (804)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?

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  (509): my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right? http://tfl.nu/pq1k
  Replies (8) Good night (4160) Bad night (789)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.

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  (469): Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels. http://tfl.nu/rynp
  Replies (10) Good night (5351) Bad night (1264)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

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  (615): is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....? http://tfl.nu/4au4
  Replies (13) Good night (3371) Bad night (1141)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

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  (732): the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea http://tfl.nu/kd80
  Replies (27) Good night (6034) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.

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  (504): Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high. http://tfl.nu/srpn
  Replies (11) Good night (4962) Bad night (860)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

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  (518): I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here. http://tfl.nu/4g6f
  Replies (13) Good night (545) Bad night (2836)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.

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  (717): My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos. http://tfl.nu/1tew
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (538)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

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  (601): He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle. http://tfl.nu/m2od
  Replies (11) Good night (2391) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

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  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1397) Bad night (451)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.

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  (310): I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/mh99
  Replies (3) Good night (851) Bad night (388)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

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  (307): I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/gswm
  Replies (5) Good night (423) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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  (317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

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  (402): There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans. http://tfl.nu/d410
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (335)

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