u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming