We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
