I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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