so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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