Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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