awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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