smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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