The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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