You're earring is so big in my mouth
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
