i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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