They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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