she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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