playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
