the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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