They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
