i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Randomize
