I will die if light touches me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
