i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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