if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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