Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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