Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
