Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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