I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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