she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
