I seem to have left my pride at pride
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I understand Curling. That high.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
