please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
