This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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