she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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