Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
