i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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