i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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