We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
