Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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