youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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