Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist