Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

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  (773): Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could. (773): "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible. (773): I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive. http://tfl.nu/kn2s
  Replies (21) Good night (871) Bad night (1566)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Sponge bath it is.

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  (319): Sponge bath it is. http://tfl.nu/r4q1
  Replies (2) Good night (1056) Bad night (535)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Walk of Shame. In a state park.

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  (712): Walk of Shame. In a state park. http://tfl.nu/aczj
  Replies (8) Good night (3055) Bad night (687)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town

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  (320): I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town http://tfl.nu/1n02
  Replies (32) Good night (4141) Bad night (1129)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.

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  (917): I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/wa98
  Replies (26) Good night (6812) Bad night (854)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers

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  (516): you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers http://tfl.nu/btsl
  Replies (12) Good night (4887) Bad night (720)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.

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  (913): he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness. http://tfl.nu/hbrf
  Replies (10) Good night (1099) Bad night (4733)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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  (+31): He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...? http://tfl.nu/se8t
  Replies (16) Good night (4018) Bad night (1525)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?

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  (651): Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year? http://tfl.nu/rdru
  Replies (4) Good night (2693) Bad night (1128)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

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  (847): I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever http://tfl.nu/aala
  Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (1065)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"

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  (413): I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight" http://tfl.nu/ny0o
  Replies (4) Good night (1499) Bad night (707)
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  (714): View more from California

  You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying

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  (714): You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying http://tfl.nu/xa50
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (2137)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB

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  (+44): you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB http://tfl.nu/timz
  Replies (4) Good night (1949) Bad night (814)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.

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  (412): He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up. http://tfl.nu/78zr
  Replies (8) Good night (487) Bad night (1674)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.

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  (631): Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/mm7p
  Replies (10) Good night (347) Bad night (1003)

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