i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today