Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
