I've blown a few things in my day
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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