I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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