so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
