Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
