I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
