i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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