I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
