So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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