You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
