It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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