I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
