I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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