I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
