I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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