So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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