You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
