i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
