i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
