I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Drunk is not a location!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
