youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
