when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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