can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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