there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize