Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I wish there were birth control emojis
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
