There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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